JAIL - An Ad Campaign Gone Wrong
riley dog |
half-baked cookies in the oven...fruitcakes on the street... |
She is the country’s first WWE politician — a cartoon combatant who inspires stadiums full of frustrated middle American followers who will cheer for her against whichever villain they trot out, be it Newsweek, Barack Obama, Katie Couric, Steve Schmidt, the Mad Russian, Randy Orton or whoever. Her followers will not know that she is the perfect patsy for our system, designed as it is to channel popular anger in any direction but a useful one, and to keep the public tied up endlessly in pointless media melees over meaningless nonsense (melees of the sort that develop organically around Palin everywhere she goes). Like George W. Bush, even Palin herself doesn’t know this, another reason she’s such a perfect political tool.
With Going Rogue, the 2012 reality show has already begun. As brainless political theater, she can’t be topped. It’s just too bad for conservatives that she happens to be unsustainably divisive and, as Newsweek points out, a really good bet to permanently marginalize the Republican party by reducing it to a pissed-off, semi-coherent mob that repulses independent voters on a visceral level. To paraphrase John Doman’s Deputy Ops Rawls character from The Wire, she’s “brilliant — fuckin’ shame it’s gonna end our careers, but still.”
Internationally, real and BS problems contend like Tokyo and Godzilla, too. Real: Americans die every day in Iraq and Afghanistan. Why? Ask any politician this Tuesday, and they'll give you a reason. Ask them next Tuesday, you'll get a different reason. Whatever: the American penchant for sticking our nose in other people's business is a hellhole of hubris that makes a Greek tragedy look like a sitcom. Removing our troops from Iraq and Afghanistan so they don't die there like lab rats would be a change I can believe in, Mr. Babyface Barack.
Now for some BS: Iran. The problem? Iran is supposedly thinking of making supposed nuclear bombs. It's no problem that America, Russia, Britain, France, Israel, India, China and Pakistan actually HAVE the bomb, it's only a problem that Iran MAY get it. Talk about the pot calling the kettle a 100% saturated black.
What would be the problem if Iran had the bomb? Israel would squeal like an insurance company faced with a major surgery claim. Big deal. Israel actually has from 200 to 400 nuclear bombs, but we don't seem to mind, even given their record of bombing everyone around them. Iran has a record of not bombing anyone around them for thousands of years, except once when Saddam Hussein attacked them. Israel having the bomb is way scarier than Iran getting it.
But isn't Iran a dangerous theocracy that funds the terrorists Hamas and Hezbollah? Depends on your point of view. In the case of Hezbollah, Iran is funding their Shia buddies in Lebanon where the Shias have always been treated like second-class citizens, and Hezbollah is the mainstay of charities and education for the Lebanese Shias.
In the case of Hamas, it's basically a game of tit for tat. The US supplies Israel with weaponry and money to the tune of $3 billion a year, and Iran supplies Hamas with funds. Israel uses our money and weapons to bomb the Palestinians, and Hamas uses funding from Iran to fight back. What's the difference? The US and Iran are doing exactly the same thing. Given the fact that Israel kills from four to ten Palestinians for every one Israeli the Palestinians kill, the US is helping Israel do a four to ten times better military job than Iran does for Hamas -- and a moral job worse than Iran by four to ten times.
Why might Iran WANT the bomb? Well, some damn foreigner invaded Afghanistan and Iraq on either side of Iran, killing and maiming people for nine years now. You'd have to be Amish not to look into a deterrent.
Iran isn't the problem, stupid. We are. Because like illegal immigration and your mother-in-law, we make Iran our BS problem. Focusing on real problems, now that would be a change I can believe in, Babyface Barack.
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